OUR NEW DOMAIN IS WORKING NOW
March 23, 2009
Please visit our new link:
PERMALINKS PROBLEM with the domain name
March 20, 2009
We have migrated to http://www.compassionateconsiderations.com however we are experiencing some technical difficulties right now.
I will be posting here while we are fixing the bugs.
Thank you for bearing with us.
How do you know if you had moved on?
March 17, 2009
A young man asked me this question after recently going through some upheavals in his relationship. I thought about the possible answers I could give him – and later that evening, during our stroll at the state university campus, I shared with him my processed thoughts.
Later on I made a promise that I will write a blog about it. Days had passed and I could not write about it. I just could not bring it all together.
But a promise is a promise.
How does one know? How do you really know that you had moved on? How do you know that what are you going through are real tell-tale signs of a heart that had fully recovered, or at least, is on its path toward self-recovery?
What are some of the stages that we may need to go through toward our healing?
I think the 5-fold stages of emotional coping described by Kubler-Ross comes very handy to explain the process.
1. SHOCK and DENIAL – this is the most immediate response when a relationship ends. Things are unfurling so fast that the whole system is in shock.
2. ANGER – this is part of the grieving stage that could be very confusing at times. Men and women manifest this stage differently. Others are very verbal about this while others utilize the passive-aggressive mode.
3. BARGAINING – this is the stage where we literally and figuratively beg for the whole thing to stop by promising that we will be better. A little sense of false hope is usually seen here as we “promise” to become a better person.
4. DEPRESSION – the growing anger and frustration we feel make a 180 degree turn and it is now directed at us. Stage Number 2 is often directed at an external source. But Stage number four is internally driven. This is the stage where we do not care anymore.
5. ACCEPTANCE – this is the stage where a sense of surrender and readiness to accept the situation is slowly being felt.
These stages often do not manifest themselves in a clean and clear fashion. Many times they are so muddled together that it is not easy to say where the person is any given point. There are ups and downs. Many times a person feels so discouraged when a sense of anger is coming out when this person thought that he/she is already onthe acceptance phase….
When relationships end, a sense of dying is what we also experience. A part of you that used to be defined in a certain way would also need to be re-defined. People around you would need to also adjust to the changes that are happening to you. Now they need to get used to seeing you by yourself instead of always being with this person. Your friends would need to know and discern now, the appropriate-ness of discussing with you the other person, especially when you have a lot of mutual friends.
Part of the grieving process that you would need to go through is to say goodbye to the places that may be significant for both of you. This means a re-framing of your memories associated with certain events (Christmas, New year’s, Thanksgiving, Summer camps, college semestral breaks etc) would need to be done carefully. This time, the definitions, associations and memories of certain places and events would need to be solely defined by you.
And this would take time.
When you hear a certain love song – it is natural to remember what once was.
When you see certain attributes of other people – they may remind you of the person that you once loved.
When you remember or go to places where you used to eat – you may need to find ways by which new memories would fill up any void that you may feel.
And all of these things are done one at a time. Many times, people rush into new relationships just to get over the break-up, only to realize that such hasty emotional hook-ups make the break-up more difficult to get over with.
How do you know that you had moved on?
When a new sense of personhood definition is already made manifest in your being.
You begin to define yourself again, not by what you have lost, but by what you are about to gain.
You begin to sense a new life and you welcome the possibilities of the future – without feeling a sense of regret or blame.
In the end, you will realize that you are in the pathway of moving on, when you again discover the more meaningful, significant sense of you.
Earth Hour: LET US VOTE FOR EARTH!
March 15, 2009
Official Earth Hour 2009 video. Earth Hour is on March 28th, 2009 at 8:30pm. More at http://www.earthhour.org
A long retired surgeon had to go back to work…
March 14, 2009
He is already 78 years old.
Saved his money, lived off from the interests made from his early investments.
But now he needed to go back to work.
A retired eye-surgeon, one of the thousands who were ripped off by Bernie Madoff.
Well Bernie Madoff becomes prisoner 6127-054 and is now detained in jail.
This eye-surgeon had to go back to work to take care of his bills and living expenses while Bernie Madoff’s food and “accommodation” are still paid for the State.
What was heartbreaking about this was the eye-surgeon who worked so hard for so many years, had to find a job at his age.
He works as a security guard.
At age 78.
Lord Jesus, there are so many of them who are grieving right now because of what this man had done to them. He abused his power, his knowledge, his connections to rip off thousands of people and steal their hard-earned money through the years. Lord God, be merciful to those who are already advanced in age and yet, due to adverse circumstances, had to find work again at the time when they should have been enjoying their retirement years. Be merciful to them Lord. Grant them favors in the eyes of their younger superiors and colleagues. Bless the work of their hands and please do not let them become so discouraged that the significance of their life work is reduced to an irreversible minimum.
Have mercy upon them all Lord.
In Jesus name,
AMEN.
Goodbye Pinoy Master Rapper – Francis M.
March 10, 2009
It is 9PM. The necrological rites for Francis Magalona may have already started at Christ The King Church in GreenMeadows.
The recent death of Francis M when he succumbed to leukemia was really felt by the show business industry – and more importantly, by at least 2 generations.
Francis M, 44 year old Pinoy rapper and host, actor and endorser not only touched the people in the late 30s generation, but even the mid-20s and the late teens of today.
Francis M – was a voice of my generation. In the late 90’s when rapping found its way here – he was the one who embraced that medium and turned it into a patriotic expression for the young. His rap compositions were clean, upbeat and very distinctly oozing with pride as a Filipino. I remember the Royal Commercials he made and the powerful messages of being a filipino that he sent across.
Francis M – made it cool to be a Filipino. His work paved the way for the new birth of new Filipino styles of singing, composition and other musical expressions.
His piece ‘Mga Kababayan” – sent powerful messages of values and patriotism as he rapped about what we can do as Filipino people.
Here is the link to his Francis Magalona’s multiply account:
http://francismagalona.multiply.com/
January 2009
“I look forward to the pain as I know my journey is on full speed ahead. I will not be bold to say that without asking a favor from you all. PLEASE PRAY for me as I undergo treatment. Your prayers, as always, have sustained me. And am sure the Lord will listen to all our prayers. To His will I submit myself.”
Tonight at 12 midnight, his body will be cremated. His cremains will be buried tomorrow at the Loyola Memorial Gardens next to his parents.
Goodbye Francis. You had given this generation a voice – and for that, we will always be grateful.
You will be sorely missed.
Support Hour
March 10, 2009
Remember, this is our planet. Let us do what we can to save it. Let us become the stewards we were all meant to be.
Join us and let your friends and communities know. Let us sing, fellowship, worship with our candles on. Go for a stroll and admire the creation. Walk the dog. Listen to the music. Stare at the heavens. Embrace a loved one for an hour.
Do anything – just don’t switch on the lights!
A pastor was shot dead…
March 10, 2009
What a depressing news! After 60 years, Circuit City has closed all of its stores in the United States. The rest of the inventory was sold for less than 1.5Billion USD. 34,000 people were being laid off across the United States. Their business interventions initiated since November 2008 have all failed. Now all the stores are going to be permanently closed.
One wonders how long and how deep this economic slide is going to be?
One news item in Canton, Ohio showed about 800 job applicants for a school custodian. It pays $15 – 16/hour. One could only imagine how deep and how bad the economy is doing in their town when 800 people and more are applying for the same job. People from all different educational backgrounds have applied for this position.
God, the whole world is hurting right now. So many thousands of people have lost their means of income. People are going to be hungry – and many people have lost their homes, investments, savings…. Lord, people are losing their all.
Please be merciful. Please surround us with your mercy and grace.
As people get to be fearful because of these economic losses, may we all find our strength, comfort, provision and protection in the loving arms of Christ Jesus!
Circuit City Closes its doors for good…
March 9, 2009
What a depressing news! After 60 years, Circuit City has closed all of its stores in the United States. The rest of the inventory was sold for less than 1.5Billion USD. 34,000 people were being laid off across the United States. Their business interventions initiated since November 2008 have all failed. Now all the stores are going to be permanently closed.
One wonders how long and how deep this economic slide is going to be?
One news item in Canton, Ohio showed about 800 job applicants for a school custodian. It pays $15 – 16/hour. One could only imagine how deep and how bad the economy is doing in their town when 800 people and more are applying for the same job. People from all different educational backgrounds have applied for this position.
God, the whole world is hurting right now. So many thousands of people have lost their means of income. People are going to be hungry – and many people have lost their homes, investments, savings…. Lord, people are losing their all.
Please be merciful. Please surround us with your mercy and grace.
As people get to be fearful because of these economic losses, may we all find our strength, comfort, provision and protection in the loving arms of Christ Jesus!
The little things that rob us of our joy…
March 9, 2009
What a weekend it was. I got really drained and joy was taken from me. I could liken it to a leaking faucet. Small, continuous droplets may not seem significant, but when you collect over time, you realize how much water has been lost.
It could be like that sometimes. My weekend was one of those where the faucet just leaked continuously and at the end of the weekend, I was dead tired.
First, I noticed that I inadvertently lost my stylus. Sure it can be replaced easily but finding the stylus appropriate for my old HP IPAQ rx3417 could be challenging. I kept looking and looking and still it was nowhere to be found. I could still use my pocket pc but since I do not have the stylus, it is impossible to do a soft-reset.
Last Saturday night, I went to a wake of a friend’s mom. At the wake, a classmate approached me for some help. Her problems got a little too overwhelming for her that she ended up being confined to the intensive care unit after overdosing on diazepam. She would later tell me that she went to Quiapo church and did a confessional about her accidental overdose. I felt a silent anger inside when she told me that the old priest who heard her confession, reprimanded her and called her selfish for doing such thing. There was no tinge of sympathy offered to this friend who was in such emotional pain.
I was about to leave at almost midnight – and when I turned on the key to the ignition, the engine would not start. Aaarrggh… my battery was dead. Two men from the wake offered their help and helped me jumpstart the car.
Sunday morning, I woke up with a migraine. Must be from the late nights lately. I was supposed to attend a local church where a younger friend was about to give his very first sermon, but due to the migraine, there was no way I could go out of the house and drive 45minutes to hear him speak.
After lunch, after taking in a pain reliever, my wife and I ventured outside to get some groceries. Aaarrgh, the car would not start. Thanks to Brett and Didz who helped me push the car to jumpstart it again. A quick alternator test revealed that I needed to change my battery. Another painful drip….
Well we got to S& R in Alabang. It is a wholesale membership club which we recently joined because we discovered that their dog food is more reasonably priced than SaveMore. We were just eating our favorite ice-cream when a middle-aged lady passed by pushing her cart. We were so surprised to see her with (I quickly counted!) 36 bottles of Kirkland Daily Multivitamins (P1,000 per bottle)! She was pushing P36 thousand pesos worth of vitamins!
My wife and I shook our heads. Yes we were at a wholesale club – but that was clearly what we would call HOARDING. There was a time when we couldn’t find any vitamins because they were always running out. GO FIGURE!
My wife and I did some calculations. One tablet of KIRKLAND DAILY MULTIVITAMIN cost P1.99. One bottle contains 500 tablets – and at P1.99 per piece, that is so cheap compared to vitamins available in Mercury Drugstores. I just felt sad for the majority of the Filipinos who do not have access to such reasonably priced vitamins. The cheapest vitamin i bought from Mercury Drugstore was Revicon which was priced at P4 a piece! Another drip…
When we got out of the wholesale club, we noticed something quite different on the rear bumper. My rear bumper had a rip on the middle part and the left side came un-hinged. With my blood pressure rising, I knelt down to inspect it and to much to my chagrin, there was not even a scratch. No dent, no scratch, no paint fading.. nothing. But the rear bumper was ripped. Someone must have hit it with a cart or something and just took off.
What a downer. The front hood had just been replaced and buffed several days ago – and now the rear bumper has a rip.
Little things… they are like continuous drips… watch out because these little things can take your joy away.
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