After an instructional flight with Capt Harris and Wifey

After an instructional flight with Capt Harris and Wifey

Today is our 10th Wedding Anniversary.

I could not even begin thanking the Lord our God for what He has allowed us to experience all these years.  My life has been so meaningfully enriched since we first knelt as a couple and was prayed over as husband and wife.

I remember all the challenges we faced early on and the difficulties that followed when 4 months after our marriage, my wife became an orphan when Mama died.  Her only sibling lives in Malaysia and I remember the late nights and the early morning cries because of the grief her small heart could not contain…

I remember so many moments… precious moments that would be, to borrow Max Lucado’s phrase…”eternal instants…” Moments that made time to stand still.  You just breathe in that moment and savor its detail, and allow its subtle fragrance be infused in your well-being.

Eternal instants… my wife and I have many of those.  Quiet walks, crying over a movie (The Notebook!), walking the dogs, early morning brewed coffee… little things that may seem so ordinary and insignificant.  But when love is in those ordinary and insignificant things – they take on an extra-ordinary quality.

Thank you Lord for sustaining us through.

Ours is a relationship that could only boast of You.

Thank you Sheila.

If God would allow me one wish… then it would have to be this:

“Lord, let me hold her hand for all eternity….”

Lovey, I love you today

More than yesterday

Less than tomorrow!

May 1 is a special day for me… it is my Wifey’s birthday.

Today I woke up early and gave her breakfast in bed. (thank you Pancake House!)

Happy Birthday Lovey. . . (those other blogs I need to do can wait)

thank you for your love.

thank you for your child-like devotion to the Lord.

Thank you for being you.

Your strength is something I lean on.

Your intelligence is very much appreciated.

Thank your for your encouragement.
Thank you for the life you have shared with me for the past 24years ( 10 years and counting, of which you have shared as my wife)

Thank you for your very generous and lavish love.

I could never imagine how my life would have turned out without you.

Every time I look at you, I am more keenly aware of how I did not deserve you, yet God gave you.

And every time I look at you, I am made more aware of how much God has blessed me in this lifetime.

I love you.

The image you have of yourself will determine the level of intimacy in which you walk – p.21 Experiencing the Father’s Embrace, Finding Acceptance in the arms of a loving God : Jack Frost

I read this several months ago but did not realize the depth of its significance until a couple of weeks ago. In my quiet meditations, I came to realize that a lot of things that kept me from fully experiencing the love of the Father expressed toward me, came from my perception of who I was in His eyes. The way I viewed myself was so different from how God viewed me as His son.

It was also very similar to human interpersonal relationships. When we feel that we do not deserve to be loved, we act in ways that sabotage any relationship we have with others. This morning when we woke up, I started telling my wife about some of my family backgrounds and experiences that shaped me and to some extent still influence me to this day. These things create a certain groove in our memories and our present and future (if we are not healed) will always pass through these grooves. Things are processed according to the pathways used.

If I walk in a distorted image of self, my intimacy and the depth of it will also be affected significantly. I will run away from God, run away from my spouse and my friends. More importantly, if our self image is based on our perfomances, we will always be walking through the minefields. Someone said that the worst formula to live by is this:

My self- esteem = how I perform and how others look at me.

Our self-perception will always make us believe that we need to perform to get someone’s approval. Or better yet, earn God’s approval

What is the image of yourself that you carry deep inside your heart? May God transform the images we carry inside of us so that we may experience to the deepest depths God’s love and give it to the next person we meet.