“Uncle, I need Jesus too…”

It was about 3 in the afternoon and the young man in front of me was shaking as he fought back the tears. I looked into his eyes and waited for any confirmation if I should continue. In between the muffled sobs, he nodded his head as he formed a fist with his right hand and lightly pounded it on his left chest. He was trying to be brave. So was I. I continued, “Joseph, in front of all these witnesses, have you repented of your sins and accepted Jesus Christ as your savior and Lord?” “Yes…” he quietly said as tears ran down his cheeks. “Because of your repentance and acceptance of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and Lord, I now baptize you into the Body of Christ….” In a matter of seconds, we immersed him into the water and he rose from the watery grave to become one of the many who returned to the Father that day.

I have done many baptisms since I entered the ministry ten years ago, but I can honestly say that the baptisms of the young people in the summer camps have always been far more special to me. Counseling them and presenting the gospel to them, seeing how they respond in tears as the Scripture is read, are things I always cherish as part of the camp experience. In my local church in Sta. Rosa, there were five of them who accepted Christ and were baptized. My heart swelled with so much love and pride for all of them as they were immersed into the water.

There are many times when the preparation for the camp saps all our energies. Sometimes the financial aspect of the camp preparation can make one feel a little more desperate. Sometimes the behavior of the campers and some of the staff members could make the camp experience a little more challenging than usual. But whenever I am approached by a camper for baptismal counseling, I am always gently reminded that this is what we all work hard for. The stress of the camp preparation is made all worth it whenever I look into the eyes of the young people searching for answers that can only be found in the saving grace of the Lord. Some of the campers would approach me and ask for private counseling while most would prefer the comfort of being part of a group. It is not uncommon to be counseling 15 – 20 young people at the same time, answering their questions, praying for them as they realize their need for the saving grace of our Lord. It is always a humbling experience. Sharing the Gospel is a privilege that the Lord, in His compassionate mercy, has given us to do. And in the sharing of His life, death and resurrection, something inside of us is always changed by the experience. The privilege of performing their water baptism is something I regard as special. I will not forget this young man who drove all the way to Laguna with his school friends to be baptized where I reside. There was another young man, who is now part of the Clayground Ministry who really requested that he be baptized as the sun was setting in the afternoon. It had been raining that day, but we joined him in that request – and soon enough the sky cleared up and at 5:45 PM, we rushed to the water as God gave him one of the most beautiful sunsets for his water baptism in the beaches of Calatagan, Batangas.

But there are times when it seems that the hearts of the young people have been hardened too much by the circumstances they are in . I remember a summer camp in Palawan where majority of the boys in one of the dorms I handled for a dorm chat, admitted using shabu even before getting there. There were many nights when I wrestled in prayer with God asking for Him to convict them in their hearts. I remember waking up at 5 in the morning asking God to present Himself to the campers; otherwise our labor would have been in vain. I did not see anyone of them get baptized, but before I left that camp to set up the one in Luzon, I was handed a note surreptitiously written on a small piece of paper saying, “ Kuya Rex, ipagdasal mo ako, gusto ko na talagang magbago at labanan ang droga… maraming salamat na may kagaya mo na nagpapakilala sa amin kay Hesus kahit pakiramdam ko hindi nya ako tatanggapin…” I was deep in my prayers for that anonymous young man as we rode the van for our 2-hour drive back to Puerto Princesa on our way to Manila.

This year, a total of 128 youth baptisms took place in our summer camps. It was quite a harvest. Many of them are back in their local congregations diligently attending discipleship classes, being mentored by significant adults who deeply care for the spiritual growth of the young people. I know that some of them are back in their challenging situations and god-less environments where their young faith may be overwhelmed. But I trust that the Lord will lift them up, protect and care for them, defend and nurture them whenever they feel isolated and conquered by their circumstances.

Someone asked me recently why it is easier for the young people to commit their lives to Christ than those who are a lot older. I struggled for an answer to that question but the reality of the Scripture explains this to us in a more profound way. “Unless we become like little children, we will never enter the Kingdom in Heaven …” (Matthew 18: 1 – 5).

Two things would help characterize the attitudes of the young people: their dependence and their trust. When they finally realize that our Father is the only one they can solely depend on and trust, these young people, who are oftentimes in need of someone they can totally rely on, can easily put their trust in our loving Father whose love for them is both unconditional and eternal. This is a big contrast to some of us older people who may have the resources, creativity and network of friends to rely on.

Joseph’s baptism was God’s gift to me. When I first saw him after my college years, he was only 2 years old. I loved him at first sight and I anxiously counted the years when I could take him to summer camp so he could also experience the love from new friends and mentors. I was ecstatic when he attended camp with three cousins and they all experienced what SEP was all about.

The night before his baptism, I asked Joseph again why he is committing his life to the Lord. A part of me wanted to be sure. I still feel the lump on my throat whenever I picture him as he responded to my question. With a sincere, boyish and squeamish look, he put his one arm around my shoulder and said “Uncle… I need Jesus, too…”

– written May 2004. Now Joseph will be entering his senior year in highschool. Lord , always draw him close to you. You are his father. Despite all the challenges he encounters as a young man, I pray that he will find his joy and peace in his communion with You.

You Were Created for love – Key # 1

The image you have of yourself will determine the level of intimacy in which you walk – p.21 Experiencing the Father’s Embrace, Finding Acceptance in the arms of a loving God : Jack Frost

I read this several months ago but did not realize the depth of its significance until a couple of weeks ago. In my quiet meditations, I came to realize that a lot of things that kept me from fully experiencing the love of the Father expressed toward me, came from my perception of who I was in His eyes. The way I viewed myself was so different from how God viewed me as His son.

It was also very similar to human interpersonal relationships. When we feel that we do not deserve to be loved, we act in ways that sabotage any relationship we have with others. This morning when we woke up, I started telling my wife about some of my family backgrounds and experiences that shaped me and to some extent still influence me to this day. These things create a certain groove in our memories and our present and future (if we are not healed) will always pass through these grooves. Things are processed according to the pathways used.

If I walk in a distorted image of self, my intimacy and the depth of it will also be affected significantly. I will run away from God, run away from my spouse and my friends. More importantly, if our self image is based on our perfomances, we will always be walking through the minefields. Someone said that the worst formula to live by is this:

My self- esteem = how I perform and how others look at me.

Our self-perception will always make us believe that we need to perform to get someone’s approval. Or better yet, earn God’s approval

What is the image of yourself that you carry deep inside your heart? May God transform the images we carry inside of us so that we may experience to the deepest depths God’s love and give it to the next person we meet.

Symptoms of Inner Peace

SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE

1. Tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experience

2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment

3. A loss of interest in judging other people

4. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others

5. A loss of interest in conflict

6. A loss of ability to worry (this is a very serious symptom)

7. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation

8. Frequent attacks of smiling

9. An increased tendency to allow things to happen rather than make them happen

10. Contented feelings of connectedness with others and with nature

11. An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as an uncontrollable urge to extend it.

From the Houston Center of Attitudinal Healing

2008 MENS’ CONFERENCE

June 19 – 22, 2008 / Christian Development Center, Tagaytay

MAIN SPEAKER: Mr. Dan Rodgers, Worldwide Church of God – USA Administration

THEME: More of Jesus!

Registration Fee : P1,200

Logo design: Leo Mark Macayan. Thanks son.

Lingering Questions

1. Did God create bad emotions?

God created emotions. The definition of good and bad emotions can also be flawed depending on our perspective. Love is a good emotion. But being in an adulterous relationship makes “love” turn into a negative perspective.

Hate for example is perceived as a negative emotion. But the Bible clearly tells us that we need to love the sinner and HATE the sin.

Anger is perceived as a bad emotion. But even the Bible just gives us the principle of not letting the sun go down on our wrath. Even Jesus Christ flared up and overthrew the tables in front of the temple. Anger is an emotion that is also needed for something to change or to take place especially in the light of darkness around us. When you see someone being abused, it may cause you to become really angry and do something about it. In this case, anger was used in a positive way.

I believe God created all emotions. But like anything else, our emotions can take control of our lives. Our emotions can even become mini-gods that we worship unknowingly. When we are ruled by our emotions, it is one of the ways by which our carnality is not yet fully surrendered to the Lord. We are given emotions so that we may express ourselves, feel more the vibrancy of our lives and our relationships – but being controlled by them, I believe is not one of the reasons we have them.

2. Why did Christ become human?

In the salvation story focused on the transactional aspect of it – I have heard many times that Christ came so that he may fully understand us. This is something I do not believe in anymore. The Lord who stretched the curtains of the universe did not need to become like me, frail and weak, so that his learning curve would go up.

He created me. Every nuances, every detail, every vein, nerve and synapses are all within his sight.

He does not need to become like me to understand my life.

He became one of us – so that we may believe, be drawn, live in and be in a relationship with the Trinity.

He came to be one of us, that I may believe that the Father loves me no matter what.

An article by Kruger Baxter entitled “Good Friday: Hebrews 1: 1 – 3” would be very helpful.

What needs to change is the theological framework. To move from transactional to the theology of adoption.

Will blog more about this in the coming days.

Spiritual Hunger

“the deepest desire of our hearts is for union with God. From the first moment of our existence our most powerful yearning is to fulfill the original purpose of our lives – to see Him more clearly, love Him more dearly, follow Him more nearly. We are made for God, and nothing less will really satisfy us.” – Brennan Manning

Lord God, fulfill your purpose in my life.

Nature of Personhood: Road to Integration

Personhood Class: Masteral in Christian Counseling

Written January 13, 2000

The Quandaries on the Road to Integration

The dilemma of integrating Social Sciences with Theology and biblical principles did not surface in my mind until recently. For years, I held on to the notion that theological doctrines and biblical principles are totally separate from the information discovered in the Social Sciences realm. They existed separately, and at times warred with each other, about issues that relate with the intellect, emotion and overall development of man, in relation to the world around him. The issue about integration only became a problem when I began to discover my helplessness in helping people.

What I discovered slowly was that – whether I cared to admit it easily or not, was that my worldview was largely shaped by the things I have discovered from Theology (readings, prayers, going to Church) and also from Psychology. What I think of the world, the nature of human beings, my hope for the people around me, and how I would be able to help them are all grounded on what I know theologically and psychologically. Knowledge from both fields of interests has been inextricably woven, albeit misunderstood personally at first. This fusion went on un-challenged, until now.

Resistance to integration was previously felt when the concept was first suggested. It would mean two or more clearly defined, and in this case clashing at times, fields would have to be fused to form an integrated version – the result of which can be seen in two ways:

[1] The variables are meshed to the point that, delineation of one from the other, would be a futile exercise, and that each integrated component would not stand on its own, if one were still to use each individual component to pursue its goals. The integration achieved here underscores the premise that in the integration process, an umbrella construct has been defined and its integrated parts and concepts support this.

[2] The fusion is literally forced in the sense that its variables are all sticking out. It would simply mean a hodge-podge of ideas whereby its sole purpose is integration for its own sake, regardless of its relevance and effectiveness in ushering wholeness. In this case, integration became the end in itself, not the means in achieving a strong and effective theoretical framework in leading people to their sought after wholeness.

Another reason for the felt resistance is because the process of integration is a more difficult endeavor to begin with. Reductionism seems to offer an easier path toward forming an individual’s framework. This would call for a deeper sense of expertise, (though some may argue with this) since there is a narrower focus and the dissonant concepts in different fields need not be reconciled, and at the most, amalgamated. On the contrary, integration challenges one to form one cohesive, integrated wholeness approach.

As a Christian counselor, it is imperative that my overall and overarching constructs be based in the biblical truths and principles. However, I cannot simply ignore the influence of social sciences in the formulation of my worldview, the filter through which I process the world around. The same filter, through which I would be able to minister to the broken-ness of the people around me, made possible through His grace.

The challenge of integration was the discovery that I have taken a lot of concepts for granted. Some of the constructs that form my worldview went un-questioned for so many years. The realization that some of those constructs may be based on faulty assumptions, which I strongly adhered to, could really undermine whatever confidence I could muster to help anyone. Needless to say, it was a confusing time as a counselor. And to have these questions staring directly at you like a mirror was indeed sobering. What took place soon afterwards was a close examination of my worldview and the non-negotiable constructs I adhere to. This examination is far from drawing to a close, but some of the foundational issues about God, Holy Spirit, death and after-life, sin, forgiveness and the like, are more concretized than others.

In the two interviews that I conducted, it gave clear indications that I am not alone in grappling with this question. One of my interviewees was a social worker with an MA Degree in Social Work from the University of the Philippines. She upholds the integrated model and feels that an eclectic approach is a more practical way in helping people. For her, the separation of the physical to the spiritual aspects of one’s personhood is not totally defined. Her approach would call for a more cautious and deliberately analyzed approach in helping people deal with issues that are not clearly delineated, as physical or spiritual. This is in stark contrast with the pastor, who answered that his counseling has been simplified, because of the differentiation of the physical from the spiritual concerns. Since he has only 3 units of undergraduate course in Adolescent Psychology, he considers Psychology as having something to offer in some respects, majority of which he considers bad and ugly. The irony of his response is that he feels competent in dealing with counseling situations, because of his ability to narrow down his counseling sessions on spiritual issues only. The physical concerns, which are outside his interests and expertise, may be referred to others whose expertise may be in those areas. Both however stipulated, that there will be measures of control first, before referring a person to a non-Christian psychotherapist.

Road towards Definition

The road towards definition of my integrated approach to counseling calls for two pre-requisites:

1. Mastery of the disciplines espoused by each field.

2. My progressive cognitive assent to the idea of always looking for more possibilities for change involved in each.

For the theological side, this means diligently applying myself to the Word and tenaciously submitting myself to the rigid discipline of hermeneutics. It is imperative that I become strongly and fully grounded on the discipline of bible interpretation, it being one of my non-negotiable constructs in my process of integration, however un-refined and incomplete it is at the moment. I believe mastery of the theological concepts and biblical preaching is very foundational and fundamentally essential before I can be freed to make assumptions about other concepts outside this framework. Though one may argue about the relevance of the biblical passages in terms of its historical and cultural context, I believe that the Bible can be specific in some of the situations, but also remain universal in its themes.

This road to integration also behooves amateur counselors like myself, to diligently pour over psychological theories, abstracts including research and new approaches. The goal for this is the acquisition of relevant and truly-people helping therapeutic skills, and to further equip clients to pursue their own road to recovery and well ness, physically and emotionally.

This brings to mind an analogy about one person who observed an artist at work, who was lost in the creation of an art form. The artist was seen moving freely from one medium to the next, applying different colors to achieve different textures and feel. And soon, images started to appear, crudely at first and perhaps grotesque-like in its appearance. But soon the images transformed themselves into one harmonious visual representation. What was once a dissonance of non-sensical images, became one breathing visual representation of an art form. The artist in this analogy was only able to dabble from one medium to the next, from one art form to another, only after supreme mastery of all the components involved. Mastery of his art has already freed him from the rigid and intrinsic parameters called for such as anatomical representations, colors, balance, harmony and the like.

In this case, have I been freed from the parameters of all the psychological theories that I can move from one to the next? Have I been freed through mastery of biblical truths that I can freely move outside its circles without being lost in my foundational set of beliefs?

The second objective is what I would call my progressive cognitive assent to the development in the aforementioned fields of concern. On the theological side, this means I dedicate myself to the process of mental open-ness to new interpretation of biblical passages that may alter perhaps my worldview, as one of its ramifications. This commitment to open-ness is not merely on the cognitive aspect but on the affective as well. Here, growth is not measured necessarily through those books I have read and digested, or through those theories and approaches that are meticulously weighed and applied. Growth on the theological framework, could also mean obeisance to what the Holy Spirit does through the equipping that has been done previously, and progressively being done right now.

Where am I now on the issue of integration?

Given all that is important to me as a maturing Christian, I see myself adhering to the ‘Spoiling The Egyptian’ concept of integration. This is where I want to be. The biblical truth is my umbrella construct. To know it, to live it and to breathe it would be my ultimate goal, and the integrated aspects of psychology along with other discovered truths, will help give specific tools and vehicles to fulfill this goal. In this stance, the psychological worldview of man, God and others are filtered by the universal and absolute revealed biblical truths.

A pastor recently told of an example on this need for integration in our approach to helping people solve their marital problems. He expressed disappointment when he heard on one occasion, that a couple seeking advice was given an admonition to simply surrender their lives to Christ. While the advice may really sound deep and spiritual, it was also vague and somewhat condescending in its implicit assumption that the couple seeking marital counseling had not surrendered their lives to Christ.

Obviously, the couple needs some guidelines on communication and listening skills to connect and amend the breach in the relationship. Here is where some of the counseling theories can immensely help without departing from how marriages have been designed by the Creator. That is, it is within this context, that a loving relationship between a husband and a wife should mirror the love of Christ for the Church.

Another clear example where integration can really help is in the process of grief therapy. The Bible talks about death and the hope that is in Christ, yet, it is important that the bereaved understand the process of grief and the psychological ramifications of each stage. This is one area where an integrated psychology and theology can come alive to a struggling Christian. In this case, the theological and psychological constructs will make more sense than just plain platitudes that seem to offer much little help.

Clearly, Spoiling the Egyptians is where I want to be. However, upon looking at my recent counseling experiences, I realized that much of the counseling I have done would fall under the Tossed Salad model of integration. Part of the reason for this is because the nature of the problems presented did not call for a longer session. One of the reasons for this is the fast-food mentality that has also crept into the minds of the people seeking help. They want the solution now and they want them fast. They seem like very disinterested in giving a commitment to at least see a counselor for about 4 weeks. As a result of which, I would fall into the trap of just looking at what will work in their given situation in the shortest possible time allotted in seeking the solution. Here what works becomes the measure of integration.

The road to a defined personal integration lies long ahead of me. But I am willing to step back every now and then, analyze, calculate, evaluate and re-track my paradigms so that I could get there someday. I owe this to myself and to the people who call on me for help.

Mens’ Conference – “More of Jesus”

Time for brothers to bond.

Time for fathers and sons to bond

Time for Christian men to come together in an environment where our critical issues are freely discussed. Where we strive to learn more how to be like Christ.

June 19 – 21, 2008. Christian Development Center, Tagaytay.

Registration Fee: P1,200.00